Dharma, Existentialism, Expansion, Higher Education, Laramie, Mindfulness, Self Growth, Self Love, Self Reflection, Wyoming

my very own office

I start a new job tomorrow and many thoughts run through my head.  I sometimes think of my new office and how I might not ever have pictures of my children or family and that is okay—I will have pictures of the family I have created in this life.  Family is just a symbol of those who love you enough to live with you and listen to you drink soda loudly or fart in the middle of an intense sappy scene in a movie.  They love you for who you are in the most authentic of ways.  I think about whether or not this is the right step—to move away from working with children to working with young adults—but if I just see everyone as a beautiful and honest child then it’s the same work—unconditional positive regard for each soul.  I hope I will be able to guide and help those entering higher education and important transitions in a meaningful way.  Although my interactions may be short I look forward to meeting each and every student because this is what matters to me—people matter to me.  My life’s work is to find my own way and help others find their way and to be authentic and vulnerable so that others may do the same.  This morning in yoga class the instructor spoke of minor annoyance with raking leaves. Not in a disdainful way but more in a way of when a bug hits the center of the windshield and won’t wipe off or the watery part comes out of the mustard before the actual mustard.  Only a tiny bit of time that is felt in the mind and not the heart. I have many leaves in my yard but then when I start to rake them I find myself in a meditative state and the raking doesn’t become so bad.  Removing those small annoyances from my life becomes a chore that I can handle and now removing my own negative self-talk and leaves of self-hate becomes something I can handle too.  No desk with pictures or Pier One art will not change what really matters on the inside.  This new job can be a symbol, a signifier, and then it can become a part of me. The new part of me that loves my family and loves myself and the destructive thoughts will disappear into the greater universe where we are starting a new job and ending it all at the same time.

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